Wow! It’s so hard to believe a whole year has flown by since our last family Christmas letter! I hope this year’s newsletter finds all of you happy and healthy! As usual, it has been an eventful year for Bob and me, and for our kids Tiberius, Caesarea, and Kevin. First, last year I reported that I had a polyp removed from my colon. Luckily it was benign – thank goodness for BIG favors! I was so excited by the news that I contacted the Pathology Department at Fort Wayne General Hospital and asked if I could have the wayward polyp so that I could add it to one of my scrap-booking pages wherein I hoped to journal about the experience. As you might imagine, Pathology has these pesky “rules and regulations” about releasing human waste and air-borne pathogens, so I had to take matters into my own hands. At around noon on a Tuesday I snuck into the residents’ locker room and took a pair of scrubs from one “Ira Rothstein” from Cardiology. When the pathology lab was distracted by the intake nurse showing them photos of her new niece, I squeezed past them and into the refrigeration unit where the tumors and polyps are kept. Guess what! The samples are all alphabetized and the S’s were at the far-end of the refrigeration unit so I was in there an awfully long time before I found “Stegerson.” When I had my mitts on the opaque lab sample, I rushed out as fast as I could and unfortunately I slipped on a puddle of water left by te melting Lean Cuisine the receptionist put on the floor by her purse. The lab sample went flying, and landed on the very desk where the crowd was viewing the niece-photos, The packaging split, and my poor polyp landed on the intake nurse’s collar-bone. Fortunately, the crowd was more concerned with comforting her than helping me to my feet, so I was able to slip-out unnoticed. That meant I went home empty-handed, no polyp! I was able to fashion a suitable facsimile from Caeserea’s modeling clay, and so I took a photo of the model and used that for my scrapbook page. Sometimes the Lord works in mysterious ways!
Now onto Bob. Bob retired last February from the barbershop quartet he had been touring with, the “Barbers of He-Ville.” He was depressed for some time, not having much to occupy his time. Then he discovered horse husbandry. It was quite by accident, the ag-department of our local community college needed a night-time janitor, so he applied for the job. He soon discovered that his habit of singing Michael Bolton’s ballads to the animals had a soothing effect. No one knows why! He was asked to submit to some experiments with the larger cloven-hooved beasts, and he gladly complied. The results of the experiments aren’t in yet, but here is a photo of Bob with one of his favorites, a pony named Patches:
Our twins Tiberius and Caesarea are still sharing a dorm room at Fort Wayne University, and we simply can’t understand why a brother and sister need to spend so much time together! We’ve tried to encourage them to live apart but they won’t have any of it. Maybe the fact I named them after incestuous Romans has something to do with it!! Hee hee!
As for Kevin.. .well…. we are bit concerned. He and his girlfriend Olivia recently announced that they will be having their first child this May. I’m not sure I’m ready to be a Nana!!! And Kevin is only 29! He is too young to leave his parents’ home. I don’t know what I will do with the extra room, set up my Raquel Welch exercise equipment I guess. Anyhow, I had a baby-shower for Olivia and Kevin a few weeks ago and I’m so proud of the cake I had made for the event:
Pastor Randy from our church was so funny – when we cut the cake he kept shouting, “I want the birth canal! I want the birth canal!!!” What a day it was! Kevin and Olivia will be making their new home at the Lancaster Apartments right behind the Fort Wayne slaughterhouse in the event you want to visit the new addition when he or she arrives (they’re keeping the sex of the baby a surprise!!)
Well that’s all for now! I made myself a Coffee Nudge with extra brandy before I sat down to write this and now it’s cold! Here’s to a peace-filled holiday to all of you and yours! Remember, Jesus hates bickering and pouting!!!
Love, Linda, Bob, Tiberius, Caesarea, and Kevin Stegerson
You pulled this out of my mailbox didn’t you? Hehehe…